Wednesday, June 6, 2012

I've been busy.  I went from being a cashier working stupid long shifts to working in the deli also working stupid long shifts but it hopefully won't be so many days a week/right in the middle of the day so I have no time to do anything.  I always hated shifts like 10a-7p.  No time to do anything.  Deli is basically 7a-4p or 2p-11p for full shifts.  If someone is really needed there might be a middle shift but it would most likely be a 4.5hr shift. I'd say another week or two then I won't want fried food ever.  Which would be good because it's full of calories and grease and neither of those things are good.  I would read and comment on blogs but I haven't been to my computer much and the screen on my phone shattered :'( because I somehow dropped it.  I don't know how.  And the phone insurance company sent me a fucking mesmerize.  I HATE that phone.  That's why I got rid of the first one for a Hero S.  I want a fucking Hero S.  I have court later today to try to get visitation rights to see my daughter.  My ex refuses to let me see her.  I'm nervous.  I'm afraid the judge won't give me visitation.  I'm dating a guy and I like him but I'm not sure how long the relationship will last.  Part of me wants it too and part of me doesn't.  I don't think he will be able to handle being in a relationship with me because we are both bipolar and I have the whole eating issues thing going on and he says to just exercise and eat healthy.  He thought doing sit ups would get rid of belly fat.  I laughed.  No. It'll tighten the muscles but it's cardio that gets rid of fat you you can't spot reduce fat without liposuction and then the fat will just come back elsewhere...  He looked at me like I was crazy for knowing that.  And I told him how many calories where in fat, carbs, and protein. And I told him how healthy different fats were.  I think he thinks the eating disordered sort of mentality is something you can just get over...  It's not and he's going to either have to learn to deal with it or find someone else to date.  In other news I weighed 124 this morning.  I've been having my bloating problems every time I eat again.  I get paid tomorrow.  Gonna have to buy me some more Activia or something.  And I ran out of birth control about 5 days ago (I got more like 2 days ago) but by the time I got it, it was too late.  Period.  Damn.  Damndamndamn.  I hate those things.  I got so bloated I looked like I was pregnant.  And same thing the second day.  And I think I'm still slightly bloated so I am quite happy to see 124 and not higher because if you saw how bloated I've been you would think I was pregnant.  Good thing I wear an apron at work.  Before that my stomach was looking almost flat.  I hope it'll get back to that in a couple days.... I gotta go get ready for court.  I doub anyone will ready thing.  And I know no one will comment because they never do.  That's probably why I don't try as hard to comment anymore.  Because even when I read and comment, no one comments on mine let alone reads it.  I think Ill just quit  I went long enough without blogging that I don't really need it like I used to...

~Kes

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